Mono, that means singular, that means I'm going to be alone for the next six weeks right?

This may be me just being angry, hot, and in pain but because I have been in bed for the better part of 4 days I think that I am granted a little bit of complaining. I've had a fever and a soar throat since Thursday night. I woke on Friday to a pool of sweat and the sheets stretch across the bed, only wishing it had been done in pleasure. I tried to stand, failing I fell back to bed and wanted to die. I would be missing out on an enticing event, not something that I am devastated about but none-the-less would still have liked to attend, and would very much rather be partaking in than strep throat round two in just as many months. Unbelievable, I was throbbing, thrashing around like a child, no one to bring me water or pills or popsicles. Sad... So I lay and withered for the next two days, feeling as if I was being sucked into a vortex of my own sweat and  anger for not being able to pee without holding myself up. Yes, I have often been in that position, but this was different. Every time I try to sleep I see the most absurd things in my imagination/hylucinigenic what ever I am seeing. A pear wrapped in newspaper, suspended in a news/wallpapered room, with ribbons darting across my field of vision. Now I know that my fever isn't quite that high and I was either sleeping or in a low consciousness level at the time. Still freak me out, I'm currently, strep free and still sick. "Come back in two days if you aren't better we will run a mono test." No fuck you Dr. Marc, you can S my D I am not coming back to you Urgent care my ass. I would rather go to the ER and pay them their ridiculously inflated prices to be see at a more acceptable pace. Who the hell are you a fucking Phisher-Price-Play Dr.? No thanks. I will be going to see an actual professional who examines me correctly. So that is where I sit at the moment. Hot as hell at 3:30 in the morning unable to sleep, body aches and fever. What a wonderful way to spend the weekend, I'm absolutely thrilled that I was able to enjoy the amazing June weather at the beach or at an outdoor cafe. Well, time will be the deciding factor, positive thinking.

So a fantastic day yesterday.

Ally, the Ally is in town once again and we were all in top form. Chelsea Ally and I together is a cluster fuck of imaturity and ridiculousness, needless to say we had a great time. Despite the raining on of our original plans the day was a conglomerate of silly cat fights and fart noises. At one point I was riding Ally like a horse. A trip to the convention Grill satiated our hunger for malts and french fries. The Grill always delivers and we got some free shit which by any means is always appreciated. Honey Malts = yum. We migrated to Tod's and Gretchen's house where we proceeded to hang out with 11 and 13 year olds and they by far beat us in the maturity catagory. We played guitar hero and tried to form a band which lasted all of me banging on the drums and having no idea how to make anything sound less like I was 3 banging on my moms pots and pans.

We watched were the world mine last night. It was good, not spectacular but definitely enjoyable. I also fenced with curtain rods and found a great little votiv, that was once a ceiling fan light shade.

Car bitch drunk ass

Its been um currently forever many days since my last confession... Post... Confession. I realized that the summer of last was quite the interesting adventure and the time since has also been a grand experience.  I can't quite, finish anything right now. My ambitions, motivations have gone out the window with the arrival of chilly, summer. I think that the season of what is now should be called Chummer. Chilly summer, not warm enough to go out side and tan my pasty ass. 

Baily inspired me to blog again, but seeing as her adventure to the wonderful south american countries she is visiting.  I will TRY my hardest to do something note worthy. 

To this point in time. I have done nothing accept be an incredible ass, drunken, stoned, lazy irresponsible sleepy mess. Commence the kitchen cleaning and retrieving the car.

There's quite a lot to be depressed about these days. Privately, I feel like my life and the life of everyone I know has gone to shambles. Publicly, I feel like the entire world is well past the point of no return. And I just feel like there's nothing we can do to stop it.

I feel like the world has just gotten too complicated to sort out. We've gotten too entrenched with the way things are to ever go back, even though it's glaringly obvious that the system is not working.

I can't be the only one to realize that no matter who wins the election, no matter what economic stimulus plan you've got, no matter how many banks you bail out, no matter how many jobs you create, nothing will change. Nothing will be fixed.

Because it's the system that isn't working.

It's the capitalist system, the system that allows people to live in abject poverty while a few lucky bitches feast in glory, that isn't working.

It's the two party system, the system that creates such divisiveness, a "we're right, you're wrong" mentality, the system that keeps things the way they are because they give you the option of benefitting the rich or benefitting the rich slightly less," that isn't working.

It's our education system, the system that imposes the same standards on everyone, regardless of interest and abilities, the system that teaches false history so we cannot learn from our mistakes, the system that still to this day teaches kids that Christopher Columbus was a hero, the system with a huge drop-out rate, the system that keeps getting funding cut, the system that makes it next to impossible for so, so many people to go to college, that isn't working.

It's our religious system, the system that demands blind faith even when denouncing the facts, the system that keeps antiquated and obsolete methods of existence in place because a few men in ancient times said so, the system that terrorizes people into complacency and obedience...


Etc.


I know I'm not the only person that sees this is the case. Obama won't fix anything. He'll put a band-aid on the severed limb W. cut off of America (and the world.) Because that is all that can be done unless you completely (and I mean completely) overhaul and redo the system.

We need a revolution, and we need it now. Unfortunately, not enough people care. I definitely think the economic crisis is riling people up, the election is making people stand up and take notice, and that is a good thing. But it is very sad for me to see that during the Iraq war, when thousands of people were dying, nobody DID anything. When climate change became a huge issue, nobody DID anything. When W. took away so many of our liberties and rights and fucked over the constitution, nobody DID anything. It's only when people's money gets fucked with that anyone cares. And that is exactly what I'm talking about! The fucking capitalist system! PEOPLE ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY! If the economy gets "fixed," do you really think people will continue to pay attention to what goes on in the government? No! People will lay back down, start watching reality shows and eating fast food again, and let the government fuck them over yet again.

Now, I definitely think I will leave this country after I finish school, but I know that you're not going to find any government that promotes good and is completely uncorrupt. That doesn't exist anywhere. There are slightly better countries to be a citizen of.

But, I used to say I was ashamed to be an American.

Now all I can say is that I'm ashamed to be human.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAVE YOUR BABY!

These services are supported in part with Title X funds from the United States Department of Health and Human Services.

I got harassed by pro-lifers today.

Who knew putting stickers on brochures about puberty could be so offensive? Apparently, I am a sinner, but help it right down the street at the pregnancy crisis center.

If it wouldn't put my volunteer position in jeopardy, I would've punched that ugly suburban housewife in her goddamn face.

And then run after her screaming about her fucking sins as she tried to walk to her job.

Bitch.

this will make me dead.

I haven't been posting because my internet time has been consumed by fashion and porn. 

Go figure.

My two best friends in the whole world have gone from Minneapolis. One remains and will need as much support as I can give her. Which will be enough I hope. I was in her position a  year ago exactly and now that she is there I want to be the best friend I can to her.

The first few weeks of school so far.... interesting to say the least. One more illegal substance to add to the roster and a few nights spent sleeping only a few hours.

My school work load has been small but will steadily increase and as soon as I get my fucking book from the fucking assholes who can't order books or something I will have to do some catch up. I did my first project for my production class and screen writing is as hard as it may seem. I am not sure how well this class will treat me, but for the most part I have been keeping up.

I suck at sewing and will hopefully only get better.  My instructer=sewing with Nancy. To the muthafuckin tee and I love every minute of it. 

I continue to love walking to school even if half the time I am late and rushing in a tissy and don't notice anything that is around me. The days I get up and run are the best and until my foot gets better which is like monday I won't be doing any of that. 

I don't feel any older or more responsible since I turned 21 if anything less so. My apartment has been messy since about that time and now I don't even care. Come over and step over my possessions, thats the way I like it. When I can't find a fork I wash one and when there are no clean towels I just use the one closest to the top of the pile. 

I did get  a new pair of sweet shoes the other day and will forever love them and think that I look kinda weird in them. Too many colors.

I miss Ally and Chelsea more than anything I have ever missed but I am not sad like I have been before. I am glad to see them grow and move on. Going to TML tonight without either of them within driving range or potential hang out range will be very sad. I went there with them the first time ever on a saturday night. 

Now who knows. I want to dance. 

with boys. 

I want to dance with cute boys 

and I don't care who is watching.

London So Far.

So I've been in London since Wednesday.

Brief highlights since I only have 6 minutes left at this internet cafe...

Got really lost on my first day.
Everything is fucking expensive here. Spent about 500 dollars already. Fuck.
Met up with Alex my first day. Been hanging out with him every day since. He's really really great.
Spent the first night in Camden, at the pubs. Slept in a park.
It's really cold here. Like the weather we get back home in October.
Went to the Tate Modern yesterday and went down by the Thames. Beautiful. Huge room of soviet propaganda posters at the Tate, I about died.
Riding the tube and the trains everywhere. Haha.

Wednesday I'm going up to Malvern to stay with Alex for a while, and then on to Manchester to stay with my friend Angela for a few days, then the Wednesday after that, down to Dover to catch a ferry to Calais.

Miss you all. Love you all.